I was casually reading an article on witchcraft in Africa when suddenly, the lights went on! (That was Alexa turning them on, not a real witch.) In just a few paragraphs, I confronted my denial of the obvious truth to one of Trump’s most frequently repeated claims, a truth that the liberal media refuses to acknowledge.

Here’s a sampling of clarifying points from the article, in some cases slightly paraphrased. Do you recognize someone?

Witches:

• Fly overseas to attack friends and allies
• Send witch-spirits (accomplices) to steal other people’s money, inflicting material losses and often bankrupting them through litigation
• Influence otherwise good people to do dishonorable deeds, making others in positions of power commit undesirable acts such as adultery, rape, theft, stealing, and lying
• Frustrate the plans of good people (allies) by opposing their progress and withdrawing support
• Are embodied by rich, powerful people that pick on the weak and vulnerable

Witchcraft:

• Grows through the insatiable desire for power
• Cannot be monitored or evaluated by scientific methods, and therefore eschews science
• Witchcraft is often characterized by mismanagement, bad behavior, and sowing suspicion through lies and half-truths, leading dubious people to deceive the population
• Is evil, although witches can turn their destructive acts into good deeds for those they like
• Breeds parasites

Anecdotally, people in foreign lands tell stories of seeing witches when they turn on their television sets to see strange sights of their mothers and children in cages.

Maybe we should pay more attention to the truthiness of our witch-in-chief. Now tell me, what happens when they catch the witch?